Lady GaGa continues to honorably defend her title as the most popular gimmick of 2009. She may be topping the music charts these days, but she’s clever enough to use her proudly style-over-substance philosophy to her advantage while she can — rest assured that not a single of her fifteen minutes will be left commercially unexploited. What are we hinting here?
You guessed it: it’s time for GaGa to launch a clothing line. Or, rather — a rumored “pants line”. Don’t know what that means? Neither do we: in fact, we kind of thought not wearing pants was part of her shtick.
As the garish, leotard-loving Gaga is synonymous with neon camp, ignominious spandex-ed cameltoes, and hell of a lot of Hedwig glitter, we can only fear the worst for what she might design for her imaginary fanbase to wear. Flashes of a pornographic Kira Plastinina transcending its bankrupt grave immediately come to mind, as do visions of Christina Aguilera in her Dee Snider phase. It goes without saying that this would present a truly terrifying retail scenario for even the flashiest of mall consumers, but GaGa welcomes the prospect of mini-mes — the sooner, the better.
“I can’t wait to do my own line,” Gaga told Grazia recently. ‘It’s definitely something I want to do in the next year, as I do have my own style. I’m already talking to my boy Akon about it.”
Akon is a rapper, so obviously, he knows plenty about fashion.
In reflection of GaGa’s fashion impact, he quips:
“People dissed her because of the way she dresses, but she’s hot. Everyone wants to look like her. She’ll walk around in London in her underwear and you watch, everyone will catch on.”
For our sake and the world’s, we hope to God not.
Would you consider wearing anything Lady GaGa had a part in designing?