Not a fashionable post: Disconnecting from a modern day romance


I’ve been toying with the idea of launching another blog, a bit like my personal blog was like pre-2002 (yes I have been blogging that long). But that idea was vetoed because one blog is enough. So luckily for you I’ve decided to have a semi regular column here, filled with my non-fashion thoughts.

Disconnecting from a modern day romance

Much like Drew Barrymore’s character Mary said in He’s Just Not That In To You, dating in the modern day is tough.

“I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.

And that is just the beginning in today’s dating world, imagine trying to disconnect after you both decide to go your own separate ways? In these technological times you can’t just simply delete a phone number anymore, especially after a long period of time. These days you have to factor in the likes of email, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Blackberry messenger, MSN/AOL/Skype lists and all the other social networking we all use.

And don’t forget to change your passwords if he knows what yours are.

A friend went through this drama a few months ago and I was literally amazed at how “connected” she was with this guy she’d only dated for a few months. Since I seem to be the “agony aunt” to friends, I seem to get asked if people should delete or block their ex’s from the likes of Facebook, so it made me wonder, are we use to connected through a poke on Facebook or 140 characters on Twitter that a emotional connection isn’t quite there?

Gone are the days of avoiding your favourite local hang outs as a couple, instead you’re now cyber stalking an ex to make sure he’s not over you too quickly or manically trying to remember where he’s connected to you online so you can disconnect.

It kind of makes me wish for those school days when you would write a “love” letter to a crush and computers never played a part. Or is it because things were so much simpler when your live revolved around school and who you would play hopscotch with?

Are you a deleter, blocker or just stay connected? I would love to hear your stories.