Cheap Thrills No More: Kira Plastinina Is US History

As 2008 draws to its miserly close, another young designer joins the multitude of recent fashion fatalities: Russian teen “designer” Kira Plastinina is calling it quits in the US, after eleven of her twelve boutiques have failed to warrant their existence.

Now, we aren’t into schadenfreude, but — unlike in the cases of beloved and bankrupted shoe lines Hollywould and Té Casan — we can’t really bring ourselves to distress over this latest industry “loss”. In fact, we hope Kira’s downfall will prove to be the final nail in the coffin of loud, tasteless, and fast fashion.

When discussing the crumbling Kira Plastinina empire, the adjectives “cheap”, “garish”, and “tawdry” inevitably surface. And of course, just plain “ugly” does the trick, too: from the rayon parade of tacky pink poshlust she procured to her flagrant, unwarranted stateside opportunism, the entire Plastinina enterprise was a seedy Mickey Mouse operation.

Like the hedge fund criminals who dominate our headlines, when Plastinina screws up, she blames the economy and runs for cover. Not only are the sixteen year old arriviste and her mogul daddy Sergei making a predictably hasty exit from the ghettos of US retail, they further stigmatize her loathsome brand by laying off nearly their entire US staff (minus severance packages) just in time for the holiday season. Bah Humbug, indeed.

Normally, we aren’t ruthless, but we’ll make an exception for Kira Plastinina: good riddance! Stick to the Moscow malls. Back to design school you go.

In case anyone cares, the soon-to-be-vacant bubblegum pink retail locations are currently selling off their remaining stock at bottom-of-the-barrel rates (to finally match the quality of the garments). After that, the saccharine stores will combust as fast they incarnated.

Maybe they’ll turn them into Claire’s pop-ups or something?

5 Comments

  • bryanboy says:

    best entry ever.

    MEOW!

  • Noel says:

    Ah, I still remember walking into the store and discovering they had hired a DJ for the second floor… Not a bad idea though.

  • eye4style says:

    I DEF. Agree with “Good Riddance!”

  • katie says:

    I have to agree that they treated their employees very badly, and that’s unforgivable. However, i thought that some of the items were kind of cool…like a silky black slip dress or a knit black dress, lacy leggings and long hoodies. None of the stuff I bought (yes, I admit I bought the stuff once it was 70% off)were the flashy items, no kira’s name all over the clothes or metallic fake leather (eeh) and they seem actually of much better quality than forever 21. the stitching was nice, fabric was decent. Oh well. Bad business is bad business.

  • MO says:

    I always wondered who this Kira Plastinina was. HAHA. I didn’t find her line too appealing.

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