Agyness Deyn Steals The Scene: Hipster Supermodel Upstages Band!

You’ve got to hand it to Agyness Deyn: in a time when few high fashion models are recognized by the mainstream public, she has managed to stand out. Thanks to her peroxide cropped cut, unisex appeal, eccentric, trilby-topped fashion choices, and omnipresence on the art, music, and – of course – fashion nightlife scenes, she’s become a de facto “it” girl. It stands to reason that Miss Deyn should capitalize upon her status in these dovetailing realms while she can. And in the great model-cum-singer tradition, Agyness has decided to try her hand at fronting a rock band – even if just for one song. But could her moonlighting gig already be over before it really began? Depends who you ask.

NYC based indie pop trio Five O’Clock Heroes invited the flaxen-haired punk manqué to provide a guest vocal (and much needed charisma) to their debut single “Who”. Deyn accepted their offer and additionally scored a starring role in their video and promotional campaign. But can she sing? Well, actually she sounds fine. The problem is that Five O’Clock Heroes – not Agyness – provide a result the music community regards as unspectacular, at best: “Who” is an average all-purpose, all-too reverent punk-pop song much in the vein of The Paddingtons, The Rakes, The Wombats et al. Even the NME, usually firmly entrenched in the lad-rock camp, trashed it. The Five O’Clock Heroes are banking on a moribund revivalist style: it’s a trend we’ve seen flatline since the Arctic Monkeys signified its peak in 2006. In 2008, “Who” packs even less of a timid punch than it would have, say, in 2004.

But let’s have a look. The video in question is below:

As if the flagellation from critical tastemakers weren’t enough, to add insult to injury, even Five O’Clock Heroes aren’t happy with the outcome. Only they’ve decided to scapegoat Agyness, not their own naffness, as the reason why the public isn’t responding as favorably as they had hoped. Apparently while they were eager to attach themselves to her star only months ago, Miss Deyn’s celebrity has proven a bit much for them. Shockingly, people are more interested in her than their music! “It can be really frustrating when the questions should be about music, not about who Agy’s dating and stuff like that.”, Heroes frontman Antony Ellis has said.

Has Five O’Clock Heroes’ moment (second?) in the sun already dimmed? Will Agyness sing again, on her own terms? Does anyone care? So many burning questions!

As for Miss Deyn, we think she’ll survive. After all, the former miss Laura Hollins not only has established herself as something of a minor cult legend in her short time as a swinging London millennial, but has been endowed with the most auspicious pseudonym the modeling biz has witnessed since, well, you tell us. She’s cosmically enhanced! Poor Antony and his boys never stood a chance.

But, readers, the question remains:

Do you think Agyness is a convincing singer or was this a one-shot deal? Or will she make like Kate and turn up every now again as a cameo on someone else’s song?